Tests and Lessons
The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson. — Tom Bodett
It is tempting to treat the tests in life like dogs that beg for scraps of our attention. Too often, we sustain them on a diet of negativity. We bemoan what we believe is our undeserved fate. “Why has this trial befallen me? How could he/she/they do this to me?”
Our thoughts are dominated by how our vision of perfection is being destroyed by (or at the very least inconvenienced by) the world about us. We complain, gossip, and attempt to build alliances. Until it seems, wherever we go, we leave a dross of negativity in our wake.
There is a fallacy in this approach to managing the lessons in life. It is based on the assumption that a normal life comes to us like the flow of a quiet stream-calm, gentle, and unimpeded. This is simply untrue.
In the same way that river rock is polished by mutual collision over time, so are our rough edges removed. This character building through adversity is truly the rule rather than the exception. It is not a disruptive force in our lives; it is part of our life force.
Like a dammed river, the more we brace against the flow, the more pressure is created. Strength and resilience are cultivated through responding to adversity not by avoiding it.
But even more remarkable is the impact gratitude has on our perspective and productivity. Gratitude for the lesson, even the others involved, conquers the distress created by resistance.
Our attitude in a situation is both the one thing we can control and the one thing that can change how we feel. Our gratitude redirects the flow.