Aura of Invincibility
Tenure. Time in grade. Seniority. No matter how you frame it, people attribute value to the passage of time. There is a perception that people who have been “at it for a while” know the ropes.
This is true in settings other than the office. In church, they’re known as “elders”. In AA meetings, they’re referred to as “oldtimers”.
Regardless of the moniker, time in grade denotes a certain cachet. The most prevalent is wisdom.
While time often rewards us with experience and in turn, experience with learning, time doesn’t eliminate the trials of life. Time doesn’t erase our fear and ego. It doesn’t legitimize self-sufficiency or infallibility. Time makes us no less susceptible to emotional reactions or the occasional misplaced loyalty. In essence, time makes us no less human.
A friend said recently that the trouble with accumulating years is the perceived aura of invincibility attributed to it. Peers hold you in disproportionately high regard. (Advanced job titles can have a similar effect.)
When others put you on a pedestal, it takes a truly humble person to maintain some degree of transparency. It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that your years do make you smarter, wiser, and more creative…in essence better (ad infinitum) than less tenured others.
One of the most effective ways to dismantle the aura of invincibility is to authentically ask for help. Asking for help does two things. First, it demonstrates that you hold another in high regard.
Second, it reveals vulnerability. This is a game changer because when you are vulnerable, you give the other person permission to be vulnerable, too. You become connected and equal…regardless of your years…through your willingness to trust and be authentically seen.
One Comment
Bill Hamilton
amazing insight and spot on. growing old and up takes effort if we want to do it with grace