As long as I can remember, I have been innately selfish, self-sufficient,  and competitive. My ego, manifested as an internal dictator’s voice, has always decreed, “Me first!” and “I got this.” When I was younger, I didn’t recognize it as self-centeredness, but that’s what it was. Me first…like the plot-steering scene in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, when Ricky’s father sets the trajectory of Ricky’s life with the phrase, “If you’re not first, you’re last.” The first time I saw that movie, my ego shot its little ego fist in the air and shouted, “Oh hell yeah!” As a result of this attitude, living in community with others has been, at times,…