Leave Pride On The Side
Now and then, I’m afforded the opportunity to share in a vehicle donation community project. It is the cooperative endeavor of several hands to make refurbished transportation possible to a person or family in need. It is absolute goodness.
It happened again this past week. As the recipient was passed the keys, he commented about times in life when we need to leave pride on the side and ask for help. I was struck by the visual of an item being left behind, cast aside its value exhausted.
How often does pride, or its equally debilitating sibling fear, get in the way of our asking for help? Or admitting to confusion when the future is unclear?
Maybe we have wrestled with a personal decision so long that we carry the underlying stress of the struggle without recognizing its presence is a burdensome cloak we wear daily. Perhaps fear-fueled thoughts have narrowed the outcomes we perceive possible, and our pride prevents us from speaking of it.
Or a personal favorite, when pride drives a comparison of my feelings and doubts with someone else’s well-curated appearance–comparing my insides to their outsides. Comparisons in general are no-win, but this one is particularly damaging.
Pride dictates I should be as assured as the object of my comparison appears, and fear torments me with the impossibility of the task. It is one thing for someone else to reject us. It is a deeper cut when we participate in the self-rejection, disapproval, and denial that accompanies such comparisons.
With every “I got this” we assert, knowing deeply that we don’t, we deny the truth of our universal interdependence and double the wound.
Conversely, leaving pride on the side and asking for help doubles the gift, because it encourages the same in others. We can’t help being drawn to people who know who they are and are unafraid to share that knowing with others.
Authenticity is attractive because it is a reflection of our self-acceptance and the genesis of confidence. Consequently, needing help and having confidence are not mutually exclusive. In fact, just the opposite. Asking for help demonstrates our authentic swagger.
