Be Light

A long December and there’s reason to believe that this year will be better than the last. — Counting Crows, A Long December

It’s been a crazy month. December almost always is. Like a blanket of fresh snow, we overlay a winter wonderland a top of our already filled to the brim, year-end lives.

I have a love/hate relationship with this month. Everything is wrapped in red and green, trimmed in peppermint sticks, and served with warm chocolate. I cherish the extra warmth and good cheer; enjoy the special foods we prepare; and am awed by the solitude of winter in the Midwest.

I struggle with unrealistic expectations of myself and others. There’s the implication with every guileful commercial that happiness is only one discounted, Amazon Primed purchase away. The food, house, and Christmas card must be just so. It’s nonsense to think we will be more or less valuable based on the things we own or give.

And yet, there is joy in giving as well. The acknowledgment of our affection through a token. We ponder our choices and relish with anticipation the reaction of our beloved. In truth, such gifts are often more fun to give than receive.

And so, as with all of life, the holidays are not just one thing. It’s both excitement and fatigue. Homemade pecan pie and salty slush. Birth and death. We are left with the reminder that in the story of our life, it is the person not the plot that is defining.

Our circumstances always change. We gain gray hair, unmatched socks, and other people’s pets. We lose jobs, Chapstick, and our virginity. We are bombarded with images and realities of violence. We may face isolation and loneliness. Some people get sick. People or animals we love will die.

In our story, it matters less where we find ourselves to be than who we find ourselves to be.

Each chapter and moment contains a choice. Will I allow my curiosity to overcome my fear? Will I act with compassion towards another? Will I seek beauty? Will I be light?

In 2018, may we all be light.