Namaste

“As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.”

— Max Ehrmann, The Desiderata

The second half of this Ehrmann quote is one of those master of the obvious statements. Wanna be happy? Be on good terms with all persons. (Um, duh.)

But working backwards, it gets more interesting.

“As far as possible, without surrender…”

The reference to surrender demonstrates the Ehrmann’s understanding of the human condition and the resulting truth that we will have conflict. People driven by fear, ego, and instincts that have over-rotated in their desire to be met will seek to dominate one another.

Now and then, this warring nature manifests as passive-aggressive behavior or unkind words. Other times, our righteousness shows up less transparently as a posture of arrogance or silent distain. We may never speak any cross words, but our superiority closes our minds tight to any new insights or understanding. I recognize I am in this place when I know I am right.

So why suggest no surrender?

Perhaps Ehrmann understood the inauthenticity of self-abandonment. The idea that somehow we must surrender who we are for someone else’s approval or affection is the crux of people pleasing (a.k.a. avoiding conflict through the emotional Twister of incessant accommodation.)

Understanding the call to action this quote embodies, how can we achieve it? First, we must come to terms with the fact that circumstances as well as opinions may not, in fact most likely will not, change. Second, we can recognize that it is our acceptance of circumstances rather than their changing that enables our peace.

With the internalization of these two truths, serenity is ours. Practicing this spiritual discipline, we are able to cease the struggle. With no fight, there is no need for surrender.

The more fully we are able to accept our differences, the more authentically we are able to live in concord with our fellow travelers. You be you, and I’ll be me. Namaste.