The Matter of Motives
Living with others, there are hundreds of opportunities daily to be of service to someone else. I was reminded of this recently when I saw my neighbor running awkwardly behind her young son as he bravely joined the world of cycling without training wheels.
We peel carrots for lunch bags that aren’t ours. Walk dogs and fill gas tanks that aren’t ours. Why?
Somebody’s got to do it, right? Like mowing the yard. Or because it just needs to be done–like the laundry needing to be washed. Perhaps it is because people deserve to be honored. Even in simple ways. Consider that something as seemingly impersonal as shoveling snow or doing yard work has an actor and a benefactor.
This equation plays out in the workplace as well. Every offer of assistance made and accepted. Every door that is held. Every coffee cup that is filled. Each is evidence of one person being of service to another.
Of course, in all of this, motives matter. And there are really only two motives…love and fear.
Spoiler alert, the ultimate motive for all right action is love. That said, we know it is not always our true motive. There are times when we can take the same exact action twice, and one time it is motivated by love, the next by fear.
There may even be times when we do something universally recognized as a kind act for someone we love, but it lacks integrity because it is motivated by fear of rejection or abandonment.
To act from a place of love at all times is to work without a net. It requires trust, emotional honesty, and a willingness to bravely look at our fears and release them–regardless of how legitimately they present themselves. In doing so, we reinforce that being true to ourselves matters…we matter.
Then, our acts (of service) become gifts twice…to the benefactor…and to ourselves.
