Give A Little Bit
For it is in the giving that one receives. –St. Francis of Assisi
It is difficult to be authentically generous and righteously entitled at the same time.
It’s like trying to smile and frown simultaneously. You end up in this awkward grimace. Nothing much is accomplished.
When I am feeling uncertain, the solution for me is to give. Give my time, my energy, my talent. Giving is the ultimate plot twist. It moves me from a scarcity mindset to abundance. Despair to hope. Groggy to focused.
I am not a doctor, scientist, or mystic but I’ve participated in a number of real world “experiments” and the theory always holds true. Giving changes me.
Nature abhors a vacuum. I can choose to fill the space between us by extending myself or I can wait to see if you extend yourself…or I can allow it to be filled with some other foolishness, a distraction that steals the moment. It is my choice.
The tricky bit is (always) fear. Fear is what stops us. I imagine fear like an extra on a movie set, sulking in a corner dragging on a stubby cigarette waiting on their cue…”Hey Fear! She’s wavering over here…you’re up.”
Giving can be the result of extreme thoughtfulness, or it can be reflexive. The common denominator, regardless of how it begins, is that giving takes effort. St. Francis notwithstanding, the act of giving inherently validates the receiver.
Now what about people who over give? The kind who would always rather do for you than themselves. When someone struggles to give to themselves, it often means they struggle to value themselves. If you haven’t already guessed by now, giving is another form of loving. Truly, the better we love ourselves, the better we can love one another.
The more considerate we are of ourselves the more authentically considerate we are able to be of others. So it’s no longer a matter of one or the other, us or them, me or you.
When we give, it is always we.