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Thank You Please

People will never forget how you made them feel — Maya Angelou

There is a universal moment after a gift or favor has been bestowed upon a child that humans collectively pause for a few seconds, waiting for a tiny, sing-song “thank you” they hope will follow. Parents especially hope for this. The thank-you or its absence can feel like a reflection on them. What kind of parent are they? Have they raised a well-mannered child?

And it goes beyond parents. On some level, we all hope to hear an expression of gratitude for a courtesy granted; it speaks to the dynamics of our larger human community.

As people, we have a need to be recognized, to be seen and valued. The acknowledgement of thanks helps fill that need. The opposite of a micro aggression, thanking others is a micro kindness.

Every interaction we have with others is an opportunity to connect with them.

To see them as an individual. To listen and attend to them.

Because we experience these moments tens or even hundreds of times a day, we don’t always get to know the impact of our interactions on someone else. Positive or negative.

Conversely, we immediately feel the impact when we are on the receiving end. We know gracious when we experience it. Authentic gratitude wears no disguise. It is a magnetic current between us drawing kindred souls together.

Odd as it seems, we are sometimes “accused” of good manners. Manners bring to mind formality and an old-fashioned civility that can feel out of sync with modern modes of communication. It’s true that recognition and acknowledgement lose their potency in a digital medium, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.

And so, on the edge of the holiday of thanks, before we succumb to turkey and traditions, take a moment to consider how you want others to feel in your presence. Regardless of who you encounter in the coming weeks of busyness, consider giving thanks to them and for them.

Each time we do, we reinforce their value and ours.

Thank You.

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