All Beings Being Equal

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater or lesser persons than yourself.

— Max Ehrmann, The Desiderata

To heed Ehrmann’s warning, let’s begin with a definition.

Compare – verb 1. To examine (two or more objects, ideas, people, etc.) in order to note similarities and differences.

Comparing does two things that run counter to deep connectedness and community. First, by definition, comparing ourselves to another separates us (i.e. we cannot compare a thing or person to itself.) Second, because comparing objectifies us and others, it’s inherently dehumanizing. We become the objects, figuratively speaking, of comparison.

There is a third challenge to comparison that gets to the heart of Ehrmann’s statement. That is the judgment that inevitably results. Ehrmann recognized that no matter what yardstick we use, there would always be others in our acquaintance whom we would measure as greater or lesser than us.

In a world where everything from ground beef to dog breeding is judged and ranked on its relative quality, cultivating an individualized value of the soul feels a little awkward.

We are so used to asking if something or someone is “any good”. We favor Yelp, Rotten Tomatoes, and social media reviews to discern whether something merits our investment. For these reasons, as well as certain biological imperatives, we are hardwired with a bias toward judgment.

So, if both nature and nurture conspire to make us masters of comparison and if doing so results in our becoming vain or bitter, what are we to do?

It is nearly impossible to not notice our otherness.

Yet with practiced mindfulness, we can suspend negative judgment. Towards ourselves and others.

Even more effective in lessening the adverse impacts of comparing is embracing the similarities we share with one another. We all need love, acceptance, and community. We delight in music, laughter, art, wonder, service, and working toward common goals.

If we are different in the details, we are similar in the board strokes that make us human.

In other words, we can pause…breathe deeply, seek similarities, respect differences, and chose to live on common ground. Being equal with all beings.