You Be You, and I’ll Be Me

No matter how I am dressed, what I look like or what I am doing, I strive to always be me.

– Steve SueWing, a community organizer, family man, marathoner, friend, and occasional drag queen

Have you ever tried to be someone else? If you’ve spent any time in grade school, junior high, or high school; if you’ve ever worked in a large corporation or a small non-profit; if you’ve ever sung in a band, played on a team, or been in relationship, chances are you’ve attempted to deny some aspect of your nature.

Countless stories of masquerade are born of the human desire for acceptance mingled with our ubiquitous self-doubt. Examples of this practice are everywhere in popular culture–it is the basis of nearly every cinematic drama. Authors with pen names and heroines with fairy godmothers perpetuate the notion that being who, what or how you think someone else wants you to be is better than being yourself.

Now in the movies, the truth often outs and is greeted acceptance…sooner or later. You’ll recall that Steve Martin’s Cyrano wins his Roxanne in the end.

Unfortunately, in real life, it can be a vicious cycle. When masked, even when we receive the acceptance we desire, it doesn’t fulfill our need. We know deep down that the mask is what is being accepted. This awareness, conscious or unconscious further separates us from our fellows and fuels the doubt.

To live the quote takes immense bravery–particularly when the me you’re striving to be is counter the culture of your family, employer, or synagogue.

You may be thinking, then why do it at all?

Because being true to yourself is the birthplace of your creativity and joy. It is freedom. And, no matter how hard we wish to deny our authentic nature, it is always there…waiting for our self-acceptance…under the mask.

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