YOLO
In the last few decades, the idea that “you can have it all” has grown in popularity for both women and men.
- Successful career…check.
- Amazing family…check.
- Community involvement…check.
- Multiple degrees…check.
Travel the world. Write a book. Start an organic farming co-op. Foster rescue animals. Knit homemade Christmas gifts…check, check, check!
But is accurate to say we can have it all?
We all have to make choices. Instead of “you can have it all” perhaps we should be saying “anything’s possible”.
Except, even then, there are limits…limits to our personal discipline and time, and then there’s that pesky need for sleep.
So perhaps a truer statement would be “you can have it all…just not at the same time”.
My friend Kelley started a small business while raising her young daughter. Much of her effort building the business occurred after her child was in bed. Did it take her longer to launch the company working 3 or 4 hours a night rather than devoting 12 hours a day? Of course, and she was good with that. Her choices reflected that her first priority was being present for her daughter.
Which bring us to another truth that is obscured by the notion we can have it all…there is an opportunity cost to every choice we make.
In a world of pluralism, defined by the nearly infinite proliferation of choice, it is unpopular to give voice to the idea (even to ourselves) that by choosing one path, we are necessarily rejecting all others. That is the opportunity cost of our choice. While we will have the opportunity to make future choices, the outcome of having chosen differently in a given moment will always be lost to us. Forever. (gulp)
Our task then is to intentionally decide what is important to us and then, just as consciously, decide how we are going to fulfill our vision of success.
Exciting. Empowering. And a little terrifying. We get to choose.
You only live once.
