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Being There
What does it mean to be there? In the last month, I’ve attended two funerals and officiated a wedding. To attend: to pay attention; listen or watch attentively; to direct one’s thoughts; to be present and ready to give service. Within each definition, there is an implied choice. When we choose to be there–to attend, we are choosing to give someone our time. It’s a bit staggering to think about time as an asset when you consider how nonchalantly we squander it surfing , scrolling, and devoting hours to Candy Crush. Time may be our only innate and yet fully transferable asset. A friend shared recently that he’d chosen to pass on…
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Better Than Perfect
“Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment, full effort is full victory.” –Mahatama Gandhi My brain innately seeks certainty. Consequently, during in-between moments, at halfway marks, and for those times when I don’t have all of the information, my brain happily compensates. It negotiates facts, guesstimates variables, and does a mental squint to support the perceived invincibility that accompanies the feeling of certainty. Being certain kind of feels like being in control. Pesky doubts and insecurities are mitigated. Outcomes are managed and planned for. Unfortunately, experience has shown that control or controlling is just a placebo antidote to being afraid. It doesn’t actually remove the threat. It just makes us feel like the threat is no longer there.…
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Noblesse Oblige
Surely, you can’t mean me. There must be some mistake. In every tale of triumph, there is a moment when the protagonist doubts himself certain that he lacks the necessary talent, knowledge, or courage to meet the challenges that lie in his path. In a culture of pivoting thumbs, it is easy to slip into the habit of self-doubt. Whether externally messaged in a 1,000 different ways or simply as the verdict passed down through the court of our own perceptions, the certainty that there must be some mistake is the rally cry of all would-be heroes. It is also the prelude to greatness. Through the years, I have had…
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Different Is Good
In a presidential election year, a year when we have been bombarded with racially-charged national tragedies, the word diversity has gotten a lot of air time. It is established in our lexicon. The meaning shifts however when we set aside political agendas to consider the merits of diversity on a personal level. Diversity of thought. In this context, diversity simply means different. Existing in a state of unlikeness or of being different from something or someone can trigger all kinds of responses. Fear or curiosity. Attraction or repulsion. But before we can truly encounter and engage the nature of someone’s otherness, we are obliged to concede on one essential point…the possibility…that we don’t know everything. A…
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The Force
“Luminous beings are we…not this crude matter.” – Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back Who wasn’t enthralled by the Star Wars movies growing up? The decade in which you were born dictates which trilogy first captured your attention. While the franchise itself is cinematically exceptional in its own right, it would never have made the cultural impact it has if it weren’t for the fundamental human struggle that is represented in each installment. Not one of the characters central to the plot is exempt from some internal discord or, at the very least, dissonance between behavior and beliefs. It is this tension that makes the stories so accessible and beloved. And no one…
