-
All of the Above
Authenticity seems to be a hot topic lately. Books and journal articles about being an authentic leader cite how constituencies have grown to value greater degrees of transparency in their leaders. The subtle inference is that whatever the potentate is thinking or feeling, it is both universal and discrete. And that in revealing their true feelings, we will be able to know what kind of person they truly are. Perhaps strong or stoic? Maybe harmony-driven or expressive? Could be self-centered or generous? It would be convenient if people could actually be captured so succinctly. At lunch recently with some friends, looking at us you might’ve assumed we were all “the same”. By some yardsticks, we are. Two…
-
Cannot or Can?
The three things I cannot change are the past, the truth, and you. – Anne Lamott, Help Thanks Wow There are times when you read something, and it’s like stepping on a rake. Knocks you square between the eyes. We can’t change the past. No matter how much we’d like to distance ourselves from our epic fails, they remain ours. Sure, viewing them as a gift or lesson converts yesterday’s liabilities into today’s assets, but nothing can change the circumstances. Another way the past is fixed is that there is no way to go back to it. No matter how special or magical or perfect a time seems in the rearview, the only…
-
Conditional Statements
“If we can get the funding, this project will make a huge impact on the community.” “If she is willing to work for it, the job is hers.” “If he will devote the time, the results will be remarkable.” Very often, the outcome we want follows an “if”. Sometimes, it’s glossed over…or phrased slightly differently. Sometimes, it’s only implied. But with most affirmative conclusions (aka solutions), there is a conditional phrase that precedes them. What’s tricky about conditional statements is that it’s the outcome that frequently dominates our focus . We rush through the underlying requirements to allow our minds to reflect lovingly on our desired outcome. “Once the funding is allocated, we can really…
-
Once Upon A Time
Everybody loves a narrative. We talk in terms of our life stories. Really, it’s a bunch of little stories all woven together. Some are long; they can span decades. Others last only moments. But every human interaction contains a narrative. It is what we seek and what mean when we say we’ve made a connection. We are so attuned to narratives that we search for them everywhere–saying “that cloud looks like an old woman with an umbrella” or “when she talks to me like that, I feel like a little child.” Everything is relative to the stories we tell ourselves and others. This picture we paint is also the basis of affinity groups. It is their common narrative that brings groups of people…
-
Honest Maps
The last week of the year is like the free space on the bingo card of life. Often, we are out of our usual routine. Businesses keep special hours. Folks are traveling or shopping After-Christmas sales. Some use the beginning of the week to recover from a sugar cookie hangover only to exchange cookies for cocktails on New Years Eve. This change in our routine lends itself to some reflection on what we believe–a precursor to resolution setting. What we believe is important, because it is the basis of our actions. What we believe about ourselves is even more important. It informs every interaction we have. When what we believe about ourselves is not current, it’s like we are…
